Sophie Haydock
Our big thanks to Sophie Haydock, award winning novelist and shortstory champion, for judging our Award this year and for her appreciation of the form, her general comments on the shortlisted stories and her individual comments on the winners. What great stories! We are looking forward to publishing all of them, the winners and the shortlisted, in our 2024 anthology.
Sophie’s Report
As writers, we understand that a short story consists of character, plot, dialogue, setting, tone and voice. However, for readers, it transcends these individual elements. A short story offers an escape, a pause, an experience – a chance to learn, linger, explore and expand.
The writers shortlisted for this year’s Bath Short Story Award have achieved this delicate balance. Selecting a winner was daunting – as each weaves these elements in unique and memorable ways. As an author myself, and a long-time champion of the short story with the Word Factory and behind-the-scenes with the Sunday Times Short Story Award, it is such a privilege to be asked to judge this award in 2024. Still, I approached this task not just as a judge, but as a reader. I carried these stories with me, immersing myself in their worlds, re-reading and reflecting on their intricacies. After much contemplation, I have chosen those that resonated with me the most – the ones that, even after multiple readings, continued to surprise and captivate.
Here are my top three stories and the two highly commended entries that stood out:
WINNER: ‘To Hail the Pale Horse Rider’
‘To Hail the Pale Horse Rider’ is a surprising story of a man sunbathing on an industrial site, whilst construction workers sweat over a new building that is taking shape around him. He arrives every day at the same time and leaves like clockwork. “Around three o’clock he would gather up his things, neatly stowing them into a tote, and walk away. He never put on a shirt, just slipped between two crumbling brick buildings with broken windows like howling, toothless maws, and continued on with his life.” He’s noticed by one dust-covered worker, who can’t shake his presence from his mind – and this sets the scene for subtle undertones as the summer progresses. The dialogue is convincing and the narrative offers layers that invite the reader to unpick and explore further. The understated tension and well-crafted interactions make this story engaging, and successfully tempts you to reflect further.
SECOND PLACE: ‘The Glitter Path’
‘The Glitter Path’ is a poignant “coming of age” story about Rhys Owen, a twenty-nine-year-old son of an old-world farmer, who grapples with his inability to follow in his father’s footsteps and the weight of unspoken truths. The narrative stands out for its assured voice, capturing the emotional depth and complexity of Rhys’s internal and external conflicts. It draws readers into the unique setting of Môr Awelon Farm, leaving a lasting impression with its atmospheric details and the underlying tension between tradition and self-discovery. This story of quiet desperation and yearning for freedom is portrayed through Rhys’s perspective. The crux is when Rhys sees the sun setting over the ocean, illuminating the Sospan Dau – a dredger anchored in the unusually calm bay. The vivid portrayal creates an immersive experience, inviting readers to reflect on the complexities of identity, family and the courage it takes to break free from the constraints that can hold us back.
THIRD PLACE: ‘Foxed’
‘Foxed’ unfolds through the lens of family legacy and cherished memories. Centred around a fox stole inherited from the narrator’s grandmother, the narrative deftly intertwines the past and present, revealing the complexities of familial bonds. Initially a symbol of a rare victory – and affection from the narrator’s grandfather to their grandmother – the stole becomes a relic filled with memories, secrets and emotional weight. The narrator’s reflections on it – from their childhood fascination to preteen activism against fur – highlight the evolving relationship with this heirloom. What impressed me about Foxed is its poetic language and emotional resonance. The story’s setting, from the intimate family home to the vast, whispering forest draws the reader into its world. “A neon blue-green glow illuminated the damage and I turned, searching for the source.” The story’s ability to evoke a strong emotional response and create an immersive experience makes it deserving of recognition.
HIGHLY COMMENDED ‘King of the Rec’
“I don’t think people change much.” ‘The King of the Rec’ begins with John being man-hugged by Sean, evoking a sense of nostalgia and reflecting on how some things, especially people, remain fundamentally the same over time. John has travelled to the town where he grew up for the funeral of Mark, a friend from his youth. A few of the “old gang” are gathering at the local “rec” – recreation fields – to honour him. As John and Sean converse, the undercurrents of their past relationship and changes in their lives are revealed. Old wounds and unresolved issues surface. As the story concludes, Sean’s attempt to give John an envelope of money for his sister is met with rejection and violence – a final break in their tenuous connection. King of the Rec is an exploration of friendship, loyalty and the immutable nature of some individuals. Through vivid characterisation and authentic dialogue, the story captures the complexities of growing up – and trying to move on.
HIGHLY COMMENDED: ‘Ripples’
‘Ripples’ is an exploration of a family’s struggle with loss and the weight of what-ifs. The plot revolves around a family trip that takes a perilous turn when their car gets stuck in a swollen river. It delves into the profound impact of a single moment, weaving a dual timeline that presents the consequences of a tragic accident alongside a parallel reality where the daughter survives. Both outcomes impact the emotional and psychological landscape of the characters. “Seconds can stretch like putty, pulled so thin you can almost see through them, but you can’t take them back.” Through evocative prose and poignant imagery, the story explores themes of memory, loss and guilt. Ultimately, Ripples portrays the long-term effects of trauma and the different ways individuals cope with grief. The dual timeline underscores the idea that every moment can have far-reaching consequences, shaping the lives of all those involved.
ACORN AWARD FOR AN UNPUBLISHED WRITER OF FICTION: Fishing At Pisa Airport
(Comments by Alison Woodhouse, BSSA team)
‘Fishing at Pisa Airport’ is a story about power; who wields it, how they use it, the choice between cruelty and kindness. Taut, controlled writing, second person point of view, and meaningful white spaces between the paragraphs builds an ominous tension between the passport control guard and the American passenger. The terse dialogue is punctuated by flashbacks recalling a fishing expedition when the guard was younger and the turn towards the end, when he remembers beauty and compassion, really lifts this story into something special.
General Comment on the Shortlist by Sophie Haydock
The shortlisted stories for this year’s Bath Short Story Award offer a rich tapestry of experiences and emotions. Each, in its own way, illuminates a strand of existence that deserves to be documented, from the fanciful and frivolous to the painful and profound. From intricate character studies to innovative narrative structures, these stories exemplify the power of the short story form to convey profound insights and evoke new emotions. Ultimately, these stories showcase the enthusiasm, wide scope of imagination and blossoming talents of the writers – congratulations to all!
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